One more thing to pray for

A negative lymph node biopsy. I've dodged every other bullet, and I know it—but I may not get the results of the biopsy (done on Thursday), until I see the oncologist again, in ten days. It's Kaiser—they may or may not call me.

I know that being anxious doesn't help me; this whole thing is one long adrenaline rush, interrupted by general anesthesia. Clear CT and PET point to safety—but I won't really know, until I get the results of the biopsy (and find out what they want to do, if it's positive).

I do see my head/neck surgeon again on Thursday, and I'll ask him. I think I'll e-mail him on Monday, and ask when I can find out.

I know that I’m grabbing at a straw here. My own prayers aren’t usually like this. I don’t know that I’ve prayed for a specific medical outcome; I know that God will do whatever God does, and God very rarely breaks the laws of physics. Throughout this, my own prayers have been all of yours—I haven’t been able to pray for myself, in the usual sense.

I really just want. to. be. done. with. this. I don’t want more neck surgery, or radiation, or chemotherapy if I can avoid it.

Thank you, all.