Saturday, October 20, 2007


I am having a fantastic time here. Busy, yes—doing things I love. Being outside, meeting people, sharing this place with them.

I was walking out of the refectory after dinner, on my way to run some errand for somebody, when I realized I’d forgotten how happy I am. I was momentarily startled by the verb tense—then realized it was spot on. This place, this work, these people bring me back to… if not who I am, then a place in me that I haven’t been visiting enough.

I feel really, deeply drawn to mission work, calling-wise. But if I could do this forever, I would.

There has to be a way to weave them together, or to do that with this spirit. I can feel myself glowing. That’s being alive.

You have to pay attention, to what gives you joy. :-)


MikeF said...

"You have to pay attention, to what gives you joy. :-)"

YES! I don't know about you, but it took me so very long to learn that, and that yes, God often does speak to us simply by letting us find the things that give us real joy... that it's OK, that finally those are the things that he has truly called us to give our lives to doing. I honestly believe that if we answer, if we do do those things, then there may be grief, pain, disappointment - but the joy will remain. It has for me, so far!

Mother Laura said...

Many blessings on your week in that personal sacred space....

Just realized it had been way too long since I made a real retreat myself, so am checking into places in Northern Cal for sometime in Advent....Maybe I can stop by Berkeley for coffee on the way up or down :-).

Mother Laura said...

(Thanks for coming by my place--I'm replying here lest I dilute the impact of that intense and important post).

Yayy for meetups! And thanks for the ref to Bishop's Ranch. I have never visited but my friend Ben from undergrad at Santa Clara used to talk about it. He went there in the summers because he was a P.K. (P.S.K.? his stepdad was the priest).

It sounds wonderful but as an ENFJ I really prefer to have spiritual direction on a silent retreat that long. So I guess I will keep negotiating with the Jesuits in Los Altos to see if they can handle my ordained status and admit me to the Table (waiting to hear back to my email). And if not, use Mercy Burlingame as a backup. It would be nice to go with a group though--the Jebbies have one scheduled and Mercy is just private though you can have a director.

Or might be right in the middle of exams or traveling somewhere or not interested, but just for a brainstorm....

Were you planning to go to any of the Silent Days? And, if so, do you prefer the complete silence or also like to connect with someone? If so, maybe we could meet for mutual spiritual direction and/or faithsharing once a day, and spend the rest of the day in silence and at the services. Surely they don't mind if you do that as long as you find a quiet place to talk that wouldn't disturb anyone....

Mother Laura said...

Should have given you my email in the above comment:

laura AT grimes DOT ws.

(This was a long shot so I'm completely fine if you're not interested, but you're a kind person and might have hesitated to say no on the blog :-) ).

Kirstin said...

Mike, thank you. I think you're absolutely right. Thanks for the encouragement!

Laura, I sent you an e-mail. :-)