Thursday, December 06, 2007

What started out as a quick reminder

…in case you, like me, need these from time to time.

There is always enough love to go around.

I’m not speaking glibly of intimate relationships; I don’t have the authority, experience, or chutzpah to do that. I don’t want you to be hurt by what I say, if you’re troubled about your own situation. But this is what happened to me:

A friend, whose caring I trust, did something yesterday that was actually pretty wonderful. But it inspired this weird jealous twinge in me. I knew it was irrational as soon as I felt it, but alas, the feeling was there.

After I got done saying to myself, “What in hell was THAT?!”, I breathed. I had an impulse to focus on loving them more—and I followed it. It worked; the twinge went away, and I felt more open, more loving, more the person I want to be.

I know what it’s like to really not have enough love. I remember that pain, that frustration, that terror. If that is you, right now, thank you for having read this far—I probably wouldn’t have, when I was there. What I can share with you is faith, that you will find a friend you can trust enough to start letting love in, and you will start daring to love back, and over time you will be transformed. You will give, what you’ve been given. You will be able to love yourself, and love the world.

I can say that because it happened to me—and because I believe with all my being that we were created to be whole.

Our wounds are not separate from our wholeness. A Catholic friend said recently, “We are all wounded. And we all are part of the Resurrection.” It struck a deep chord with me. I wanted to escape the wounded parts of me for a long, long time. When I really started healing, I didn't anymore. You don’t grow out of pain, or out of hurt-child reactions. You grow through them. It is that growing, which transforms us. You will remember who you are, and who you were. That is where your love and your empathy will come from. That is the gift you can give.

There is always enough love to go around.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maggie Ross' comment, "our worst monsters are our blessed means of hope" playing off monstrance.