Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Going quiet for about ten days

Again, this is for people who aren't on my e-list.  Thank you all for your presence and your prayers.

Dear all,

I fly down to Riverside tomorrow, and am scheduled to be admitted to Kaiser from Friday until the 25th. The calendar could change, with a possible change in regimens. I'll find out Friday morning if we're switching me to high-dose IL-2, and if there's a bed for me that day. (Sometimes you have to wait longer for ICU admission.) I'll find out when I start taking the treatment, whether I can tolerate it.

I know I can get through a cycle of biochemotherapy. But as you already know, there are questions about whether it's working for me. My doctor wants to discuss switching me up.

I know this about myself, regarding communication: I don't write while I'm having chemo. I'm too drugged and sick to even want to. And for the first few days I'm home, looking at the screen makes me more nauseous than I am. You are all welcome (encouraged! please!) to write to me--but I will reply in my heart before I do it with my words. And tomorrow is really going to be about having face time with the friend I'm going with and St. George's, soaking in life and love and everything that grounds me. I may not get to blogging or e-mail. (If I'm in the ICU starting Friday, I don't know what access I'll have.)

Keep storming heaven for me. Keep letting me know it. Know that your love helps carry me.

love,
Kirstin

10 comments:

Two Auntees said...

Love and prayers surround you.

Anonymous said...

Much love, many prayers.

- Valerie

Alison said...

May Lovingkindness travel with you wherever you go, prayer always... your honesty and clarity are a beacon to me...go well all the days of your life...((hugs)) to you from Acorn Cottage

Cathy said...

Prayers from south Georgia - and pray for you daily.

Ann said...

Thunder and lightning from me to heaven -- hey God - keep Kirstin as the apple of your eye. (that being the iris = the place God sees the world through)

Catherine said...

We carry you [I carry you] in my heart...

Kirkepiscatoid said...

Prayers. Ten days worth, in fact.

Mary Beth said...

Love and love and love and all prayers.

David@Montreal said...

love and prayers- you've got them both.
prayerfully you're woven into the course of eac day- at times if it nothing more than intentionally, mindfully breathing with you, dear friend.

love you

Cathy said...

Praying for you....