Monday, July 02, 2007

Re-focusing

I was praying with four friends from my parish yesterday afternoon; it's an early step in my vocational discernment. This was the second time we'd met. It was so much easier to focus than it had been in May, when I still had school clattering in my head. I went where I needed to go, and I stayed there.

I felt very much "held in the light;" it's a Quaker phrase, and we're Episcopalians, but the imagery works. I was held in their love, and in God. I asked God, "What do you want me to hear?" The answer came immediately, and strongly. "Turn OFF your computer, live at nature's pace while you can, and pay attention."

So that's what I'm going to be doing. I'm determined to obey this. This summer away from the city is a gift; I need to honor it, and to listen deeply in the silence I'm given here. I need to get back on two-way conversational terms with God.

I"m not taking a break from blogging, but the frequency and content will change. I'll be online for shorter, more focused periods; not just to veg when I'm not doing anything else. The internet is a time-suck, and a soul-suck; I need to pay deep attention to what is directly all around me. Truth often speaks in whispers; I need to hear those.

I am already feeling clearer.

2 comments:

Mimi said...

Yeah, I have to fight the urge to veg in front of the computer. Click, click, click...

eileen said...

The inter tubes certainly do pull at me.

Bravo for hearing this, and making this committment! (((Kirstin)))