Sunday, August 17, 2008

If I don't post now...

I don’t know if or when I will.

I’m trying to claw my way out of inertia. “Depression” isn’t the right word; I have more of an emotional-exhaustion hangover. I don’t feel down, or numb; just tired. I really just want to stay in bed—and I have, some days—but that’s horribly unhealthy. I need to keep my toes in the world.

I need to find a way to catch up with myself, rest, and still stay among the living.

I went to the farmer’s market today around lunchtime. It was the best thing I’ve done in weeks; it got me up, dressed, and out of the house. Interacting with people. Feeling happy again.

Thank you all for dropping by, leaving me hugs, and suchlike. Noticed and very much appreciated. I just haven’t had it in me to respond.

I’m working on coming back to life.

12 comments:

Two Auntees said...

Glad to hear from you. You have been through a lot in a very short period of time. It would be reasonable that you are tired. Pay attention to all of your senses. Rest as needed but do get up and stay connected to others.

Continue to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Jane R said...

What two auntees said.

((Kirstin))

FranIAm said...

Kirstin, I have not sent you notes, but please know I hold you in prayer daily and write your name in our parish prayer book weekly.

Do what you must and know that you are loved and thought of all the time.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Kirstin, do what you must do to take care of yourself. I send love and prayers your way every day, or nearly so.

Mimi said...

Kristin, you are like wheat breaking through the soil, and reaching for the sun. My prayers are with you.

And, when you are striving so hard, it is ok to rest.

Lindy said...

I've given you an award on my blog. You can pick it up whenever you feel like it.

Caminante said...

Just checking in. The eight-day votive burns for you.

susan s. said...

I'm here sometimes but thinking of you oftener!

it's margaret said...

Kirstin!!! Good for you!

Life is hard at the edge of the abyss....and there is little to no light down rabbit holes. You are doing really hard work right now. Trust yourself.

And if you must keep running down the rabbit hole --do take lots of carrots from the farmer's market with you!

You continue in my prayers.

Grendel said...

ecause of your Goopersonic Impetus, I have Given you a Big Shiny Metal Award. If you know how to go to my Blog you can read about it.

(But do it when you feel like it...)

catherine said...

hugs and strength to you, my dear

Paul said...

Here's a cyberhug from NOLA just to remind you that you are in our hearts and prayers even when we don't write and you aren't up to reading. And MWAH! to boot.