Thursday, August 28, 2008

Blog? What blog?

Oh, this old thing?

Thank you all for hanging in with me. Nothing’s really been happening that’s worth writing about. I’ve been doing well on the shots—so well that my oncologist suggested doubling the dose, yesterday. (I was only complaining about fatigue, and my numbers are fine.) I did it last night, and I feel yucky today. That also may be because I couldn’t sleep, and am just plain exhausted. I’m not nauseous; just tired, cranky, and sore.

Spent about an hour at the DMV today, and I now have a California driver’s license. Hurrah. My Washington license expires in three weeks, so I had to take care of it finally.

Starting back to school next week. I’m only going half time, which is good because I don’t quite know how it’s all going to work. I’m doing my field ed at the San Francisco Night Ministry. Very excited about that. But healthwise, I don’t know what will happen. School and the Night Ministry are aware of my medical needs. We’ll all just see.

Went to Berkeley yesterday because I had to get stuff out of storage (friends’ dorm rooms), and find my birth certificate for the DMV. It was good to see friends. Apparently I look wonderful, if pale. I had a good time, but tired very easily. I’m not used to throwing boxes around.

Note to classmates: I know we haven’t seen each other since the height of my crisis. But please don’t look at me with instant sympathy. Treat me like what I am: a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Let me find my own feet socially, again.

I’m doing my best to survive this. Don’t perceive me as an automatic victim.

Oh, and another thing: “Did you have a good summer?” is a really silly question. The two weeks of genuine summer I had, treatment-free, were great. Being chemically sick is anything but fun.

“How was your summer?” is a perfectly legitimate question. “Was it good,” well, only in parts. The Monterey aquarium was fabulous. So was the Ranch. The infusion room sucked. Giving myself shots is matter-of-fact now, but was ooky in the beginning. Being sore and tired the next day: equally yuck. Being supported through this: a very good thing.

Was I well cared for? Did I move through any of the shock? Am I doing okay on treatment? Yes, so in those senses it was successful. But those aren’t really casual answers.

I’m back in the Valley now, through the weekend. Thinking about my friends in New Orleans, and keeping an eye on Gustav.

Again, thank you.

8 comments:

it's margaret said...

Kirstin --dang it --our lives are like dovetailed, woman. My heart soared when I read that you were going to do field ed at the Night Ministry. Joel worked it for two years while he lived as a Brother at San Damiano (on Dolores St.).

Glad to see you back and I hope you get into a good rythm (and less aches and pains) with school.

Blessings on you.

Kirstin said...

:-)

Thank you for your e-mail, too.

FranIAm said...

It is really great to see this post and to hear from you.

Write when you can, if you can. Just do what you need to do for you.

You are never far from thought or prayer and shall remain so, beautiful woman!

Mimi said...

Congrats on the new driver's license. Whooot. whoooot. Did you have to take a test?

susan s. said...

Thanks for the update. Maybe I'll see you this fall some time. Still thinking about you regularly... is that praying? I think so. (((Kirstin)))

Caminante said...

Remember, a blog is voluntary and not meant to be a millstone around your neck (you already have a big enough one, no?). I check in and even if you haven't posted anything I still like to see your past posts. And while I may not write something when I check in, you are in my daily prayers.

eileen said...

((((((((((K)))))))))))))

Still praying for you..and what Caminante said...Blog is for you..we know where to find you.

Paul said...

What Caminante and Eileen (the evil temptress) said.

So good to hear any updates at all. As someone who, on the inside, will always be a Californian, may I welcome you to the Golden State on a new level? Best wishes and prayers on all of it.

Even though I've been living there for the past four months I still think of you when I think of the people of New Orleans. And our mutual in-the-flesh-and-on-the-net friend Mimi, of course.

Major hugs!