Getting ready
I’ve got laundry going in the background. I need to pack for Riverside, when it’s done. I need to apply for Medi-Cal, and ask some friends if they wouldn’t mind checking in on me for the first couple days I’m home. Another friend is picking me up tomorrow morning, and we’re flying down for the next round of chemo. Before that starts, we’re having dinner with my new friends from St. George’s.
I’m writing this for myself, and publishing it anyway. These are things I hold onto when I’m well. These will sustain me when I’m in the hospital, and when I’m first home, feeling so sick I’ll wonder if I’ll ever be me again:
- Listening to music I love
- Forming words into sentences, paragraphs, truth
- Bouncing around the house with unwilling cats
- The feel of wind brushing my body
- Grass underneath bare feet
- Lying on the earth, as much full contact as possible with the ground
- Being held in the arms of friends, soaking healing love into my skin
- The smell of warm earth
- Legs that walk where I want them to
- Bengal Spice tea on foggy mornings
- Praying Compline in the dark
- “The Body of our Lord Jesus Christ, keep you in everlasting life.”
- Being back in church, held in loving community
- Knowing that I can preach again whenever I ask to
- Knowing that I can walk back into Safe Ground and belong there, whenever I’m ready
- Breathing in and out
- Laughing
- Singing loud on long car trips
- Playing my guitar for the first time in forever, remembering how
- Hugging trees
- Real conversations that don’t have to do with my health
- Recognizing, and rejoicing in, how alive I am right now
8 comments:
Hearing your voice, dear Kirstin.
What a heart opening question. I love it. Heart opening questions keep my feet on the earth, my children's laughter and tears, making Mayan Crunch Truffles, bicycling, hammering, getting enough sleep. Thank you for asking. Many blessings, Kristin. Thank you for posting your blog! - JJ aka anonomous because I can't figure out how else to post a comment. :)
I keep my feet on the ground by being with Pat and our animal companions, taking pictures, driving along the delta and country roads, attending church, and talking with my spiritual director.
My groundedness is not now challenged. When it was, I was restored to wholeness by most of the things you named. I don't know if this is serenity or denial.
These calm and grounded days I share myself as a place for a "soft landing," physically and metaphorically. I'm very sorry that I can't be there to make a cup of tea for you and maybe a muffin.
I very much like your list. In fact, I love your whole post, as most of what you write.
I like hugging trees. They give me their strength so willingly. I love the warm summer breeze and walking in the woods. I love Felix the cat coming by to check out things on her way I do not know where...
i like what you share here.
Blessings. More blessings always.
Clumber, I'm speechless. Thank you.
Hi JJ! I wish we could hang out. I miss you.
Thanks Barb!
Jeanne, a cup of tea would be really nice.
Claire, I'm so glad you found me.
Blessings to all.
Wow, what a list, what a for real list! Shows where your precious heart is, there with the better part that no one, nothing can take from you. I would love to take a long car trip with you. We'd have a grand time! I am praying for you special in these days ahead, aware of your schedule. Now go forth, warrior woman, in the peace of Christ, ;in the power of the Spirit. As my Latino/a friends say, ¡Vaya con Dios!
Gracias! Love you.
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