Tagged

Thanks, Max... I think! I skipped a few questions; here is a random bit of surrealism for you.

1. What's in your pocket?

A BART pass that I have to remember to put back in my wallet.

2. Is the pork ready?

Huh?

3. Do you like onions?

Yes, cooked--but I don't like chopping them.

4. So, how big is it?

<--THIS--> big.

5. Budweiser or real beer?

Neither (and particularly not Budweiser, ick). I do like wine, though.

6. What do you feel about your nose?

I'm thankful for Claritin.

7. Children: Baked or broiled?

Actually I really like kids... and I've never eaten one.

8. Do you like it when I do this?

What? Send me silly memes? Sure--but I would like you no matter what you did.

9. Do you like the sound of chickens?

Not particularly. Frogs and crickets are just fine, though.

10. Would Beyonce clip her own toenails?

I've lived under a pop-culture rock for two years; I barely even know who she is.

11. Do you like pork?

Yes, but not half as much as sushi.

12. If the butter is soft, does the bus arrive on time?

Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: A fish.

13. When do you get up?

Way up in the sky, the little birds fly
While down in their nests, the little birds rest
With a wing on the left, and a wing on the right
The little birds sleep, all through the night.

SHHH! They're slee-ping!

The bright sun comes up, the dew falls away
"Good morning! Good morning!" the little birds say!

14. How did you survive childhood?

I read like a fiend, and spent summers at Girl Scout camp.

15. What do you do before bed?

Put my jammies on and brush my teeth, silly.

16. What are your hidden charges?

A friend told me once, "You have more power in your life than you think you do." She was right.

17. Who's behind you?

Many good, compassionate people.

18. Does George Bush replace the toilet paper tube?

You're assuming he knows how.